THE SPEECH

A schoolmaster from a remote rural area was transferred to a school in Bombay. He reported for duty two days before August 15 and, as was the practice in the school, was asked to address the assembly on Independence Day. Here's his dynamite speech : "Leddies and Gentulmens,Contemporaries, Childrens, this is my first maiden speech. If small small mistakes get inside my speech, I ask pardon. Stickly speaking, I wanted to joint your school more fastly, but too much time lost in getting slipperreservation in three-tyre compartment. The clerk rejected to give ticket. I put complaint on station master. He said me to go to lady clerk. At first she also rejected. I then pressed her for long time and at last with great difficulty she gave a birth (berth) only to my son. Anyway I am thanked the station master because he was responsible for getting birth to my son. We are got independent because of great leaders like Gandhiji who get-outted all Angrezi peoples from India. Tilak said Swaraj is our birth-rate and we shall halve it. Today we all halve ourbirth-rate.You children are future dynamic generators of the Nation. Look into future time only. No backside looking, or looking at your behind.Be like great like Jahawarlal Nheru or president like Loosebelt.You are knowing genius, no? It is one per cent perspiration andninety seven percent evaporation. They are become great by reading great books.After we finish you here in the school, you can go to college and getB.A., M.A. and other decrease. Then you can become great liars in the supreme courts, shattered accountants, or leacherers in college.The school is like a garden. You are the seeds, school is the soil.We will bury you in this soil, pour water of knowledge on yourheads and one day you will become great phools. Many vacancy job come in newspapers. Yesterday only I saw in paper "Wanted for refuted engineering firm: Generators, highpower condensors" so and so etc. These jobs may be teknickel, but you can rise. If you haveflare in English, you can become teacher.I am now ending this fastly because time is running away. My Godblast you! Thank you and thank the God I am finished. Joy Hind!"